Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me It Was Tuesday!?!

You ever wake up and immediately wish you could go back to bed? That's me most days. That was me this morning. We had a couple of folks out yesterday so I didn't get my 15 minute window to whip out something incredibly funny and insightful like I usually do.
Plus there were no good pictures on the Drudge Report to make fun of.
Slow news day I guess.
So what's new people?
Anything interesting happen while I was goofing off?
Hugo who?
Chavez? The Chavez Chavez guy from Young Guns? Didn't he play La Bamba too?
La la la la bamba... necesito la bamba.... la la la la bamba...
I forget the words...
Wait?
Venezuela? President?
You don't say.
Wow. That dude gets around.
So he's going to invade Columbia? What? He's out of Coffee or something?
Ah. Rebels. Yes. I might have known. Well I guess Colombia should have stayed out of Venezuela then. It's not nice to bomb other countries. I pisses people in those countries off.
He didn't bomb Venezuela?
So what's Hugo's problemo?
Ecua-who?
Dora? The explorer?
Oh. Ecuador.
Right. So Columbia bombed Ecuador. That's just plain rude. They attacked a rebel camp?
You sure that they weren't on Endor and not Ecuador?
There's something very familiar about all this.
So he gives $300 million dollars to Columbia's oldest rebel faction, makes nice-nice with the head Umpa Lumpa guy and gets totally cheezed when Columbia pulls a Schwarzenegger Commando raid and settles the Rebel dude's hash.
Interesting.
Now the tanks are on the border and the troops are all ready to go.
All we need are 99 red balloons.
Good times.
Someone needs to switch Hugo to decaf.