The Greatest Of All Time...

So MegaCon is coming to town today. And I don't think I will be able to go this year.
Again.
What the smurf, I work hard, I do good and stuff.
Why can't I go and check out hard core nerdyness? Where's my autographed picture of Boba Fett?
I'm going to be too busy this weekend to go.
Did you know that the dude from Heroes was going to be there?
Have I mentioned that I watch Heroes?
No?
I do.
Bet you're surprised.
I know I am.
I was talking with a friend the other day about the best movie of all time. If I had to pick my absolute top ten what would it be?
That's a tough one.
Hard to narrow down a century of film making to ten masterpieces of cinema.
There are movies for guys - featuring explosions, supermodels, guys who know how to disable a bad guy with a plastic spork and some sort of quest and/or superpowers.
(Ugh. Had to add supermodels and spork to the dictionary... some of those programmer guys need to get out more.)
So glad it's Friday.
Then you have the classic epic, with the wide vistas and stories that feel big and momentous.
But the very best movies fit both of those categories.
I refuse to include chick flicks.
Chick flicks don't count.
Ever.
No.
The Notebook was a cruel trick used by women to subjugate their men folk.
Moulan Rouge?
Uh, I'm going to plead the fifth on the grounds that it could adversely affect my man card standing.
So that leaves me with formulatificating my top ten.
Hey, formulatificating is a word.
Just ask Dubya.
Without further ado, here are my top ten favorite flicks (in no particular order...):


Star Wars (1977)
Anyone that does not include this film on their list ought to have their cloisters shaved with a lightsaber by a Wookie that's just had a gallon of expresso.This movie changed the entire landscape in Hollywood. It invogorated an entire generation of people.
Oh yeah, by the way Han Solo shot first and I like it that way.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)
Han Solo versus Nazis!?!? Are you kidding me? This is freakin' awesome! Plus he had a whip. Submarines, exploding experimental Luftwaffe bombers, fights on top of speeding vehicles and the finger of god squishing that annoying French pastry Belloq.
Good smurfing times, yo.

Conan The Barbarian (1982)
Darth Vader without the helmet, giant snakes, the Valkyrie with the sword and the Greatest Movie Soundtrack of All Time.
Plus Arnold at his peak. What could be better, you ask?
"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women."
Oh yeah. Hand me my sword.

Enter The Dragon (1973)
Yeah. The standard by which all other Kung Fu movies are measured. Jim "Hey Mister Han man, suddenly I would like to leave your island" Kelly, the dude that turned out to be the cyborg on the Bionic Man a few years later and of course, the worlds greatest Kung Fu master.
Bruce Lee.
Bruce Lee!!!!
Bruce Freakin Lee man!
Far out!
Get my my nunchucks... STAT.

Star Trek II The Wrath Of Khan (1982)
Apparently, 1982 was the last time really cool original movies came out of Hollywood. This was the very best of Star Trek. Ricardo Montalban, Shatner and The Enterprise opening a can of smack down. Phasers, torpedoes, little creepy ear thingy's that made you do stuff you didn't want to and Kirk staring at the ceiling screaming "KHAN!!!!"
I can still here the echoes. Unfortunately, Star Trek is pretty much all down hill from here.

The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
The best of all the Star Wars Films. The first truly great lightsaber combat sequence, Taun tauns, no Ewoks or Jar Jar, Snow Speeders, Imperial Walkers and Yoda.
Dude, YODA!!!
Han Solo has the ultimate Man moment. You remember...
Leia says I love you as they are lowering him to his doom. And what is his reply?
"I know."
Greatest. Cool Guy. Moment. Ever.
Oh man. The introduction of Boba Fett, Super Star Destroyers and the back of Vader's pasty scarred dome. Not to mention the single greatest on screen shocker of all time...
"No... I am your father..."
Oh it's true. It's true alright.

Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (1977)
Spaceships, Flashing lights, kind of creepy in a wonderous way. That catchy tune we hummed to ourselves without realizing it for the better part of the next decade. And the seed planted that maybe, just maybe, we are not alone.
Nah, nah, nah, NAH, Nah...

The Godfather (1972)
The quintessential Gangster Movie. Classy and elegant in the same way that Scarface was brutal and violent. Al Pacino. The Man. Marlon Brando.
It makes you an offer you can't refuse. That haunting melody. The Mob hasn't been the same since. This is the standard bearer for all Mob flicks and only two others have come close to it, Goodfellas and Scarface. It's still the best though.

E.T. (1982)
Phone home man. Phone home. I don't think anything freaked me out as much as those Government guys in space suits crashing through the windows and doors. Still gives me the heebie jeebies. Who didn't cry when they saw E.T. dying as Elliot screamed "Don't go E.T.!!! Don't Go!!!!) And who can forget the complete and total sense of elation when they saw the flower come back to life! Yeah. You're smiling now just thinking about it.


Lord Of The Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)
This movie was so awesome that if you saw it all at once, your head would explode! That's why they only let you see parts of it over three years. They were kind to humanity in controlling the carnage of decimated heads in theaters all over the world.
Plus, the whole Star Wars v. Hobbit, East Coast Rapper v. West Coast Rapper thing was getting way out of control. Be that as it may, flaming giant evil eye plus hordes of Orcs and goblins and a wizard, elves, surly dwarves (are there any other kind?) plus the hero dude and his angelic looking GF, dude.... Booby.... What we have here is the greatest trilogy of all time.
This is the Chuck Norris of Cinema.

That's about it.
I feel spent. Lot's of movies didn't make the cut that I'm sure could be up there but these are my favorites.
You don't like them? Come up with your own list then.
Pass the popcorn.