It Needs More Cow Bell

I slack therefore I am. Long weekend. Barking Spiders defeated the Poinciana Supernerds 10-1 in wiffle ball action and a few other things involving alcohol and “when puppy’s attack”.
There.
That’s it. That’s the blog for today. Look, I don’t know if I really feel like going into detail today.
Oh, I finally saw the whole “Need more cowbell” skit with Will Ferrell and Christopher Walken on SNL. Good stuff. I think I need more cowbell in the mornings, you know, to help start the day right. I sure as hell could have used more “cowbell” this morning.
I woke up late and had to skip my morning workout.
Bollocks.
I got up on time but I was just not feeling it. I wanted to go. Really, I did. But the bed was extra comfortable and honestly, one day isn’t going to kill me right? It’s not going to undo all of that hard work is it?
I ended up bringing my stationary bike out of retirement for 30 minutes to get something in this morning. I think I am going to get my happy ass out of bed on time tomorrow. This whole slacking thing is not me anymore.
The weekend was okay. Felt a little long for some reason. Maybe I just covered a lot of things, baseball, soccer, drinking, lawn maintenance and a host of other suburban distractions.
Best part of the weekend was getting in a wiffleball game. It’s been a long time since I played. My brother-in-law has a backyard roughly the size of Fenway park, sans the asylum inmates. You could play little league games in there, except for the playground right smack dab in the middle of the outfield.
Did I mention that we won? We being my buddy Sal and I. In all honesty we should have split up the teams a little better. Both Sal and I are vets and well, our opponents weren’t.
Maybe next time.
We did manage to squeeze a few beers in between innings. We had fun, going to have to do that again sometime. My youngest daughter was attacked by my Brother-in-law’s puppy.
I know it didn’t mean to do it.
And while I am no animal lover, I am not cruel to animals. But we are talking my baby here people. My little monkey, my puddin’.
The dog made a mess of her face. Scratching her badly and nipping her hand. She was sufficiently traumatized. This is not the first time that Scrappy Doo has done something stupid like this. The last victim was my niece.
And naturally, I lost it.
For the record, we are not talking about a small tiny puppy. This little mongrel brute is well over thirty pounds and getting larger every minute.
My first reaction was a left hook to Scrappy Doo noggin. He was snapping at me and getting a little too frisky for his own good while my wailing six year old daughter was being attended to by her mom.
At the last second I realized: “Puppy” and instead of punching the dog I bopped it on the head.
I know, I know, evil human, picking on a poor defenseless puppy like that.
Well screw that. My daughter was screaming hysterically and Barky the wonder mutt was the cause.
He got off easy if you ask me.
I think the scratches will heal. They had better.
Man, was I pissed.
Look. I could have kicked the dog and I was mad enough to kill it. Seriously. I’m a nice guy until my kids are threatened.
Then it becomes clobbering time.
I’m a dad. What did you expect?
Someone give me more cow bell…