The other white meat!?!

Don’t know what to do for breakfast when the lights are out? Tired of having Green eggs and ham? Looking for some green ham and eggs? We’ll Taiwan has the answer you’ve been looking for! Now you can get fluorescent green pigs, farm fresh! So what if they are genetically modified freaks of nature?
There’s nothing wrong with that.
They’re green, like money! And we all love money don’t we?
You what I want to know right?
Do they come in Candy Apple Red?
Oh yeah. I’d be in Hog Heaven! Get it? Huh? Huh?
Sweet googily moogily! Just because we CAN make day-glow bacon, does that mean that we should? (and would you really want to eat green meat?) Of course these particular swine are not destined for the meat market.
They are going to be used to advance the frontiers of science!
According to the MSNBC article, they were genetically manipulated at the embryo stage to make it easier on the (mad) scientists while they are conducting their Stem Cell research.
*cough, cough, FRANKENSTEIN!, cough…
Sorry, I had a little tickle in my throat there.
And hey, what’s wrong with a pack of secretive and conspicuously unaccountable geneticists playing god without any oversight with human DNA and farm animals?
What could possibly go wrong?
What’s that you say?
Pfft. I’ve never even heard of the Island of Dr. Moreau!
Really.
(I preferred the Michael York version to the Val Kilmer / Marlon Brando one… )
Can they do that with other animals too? Like cats and dogs and Manatees?
You know, that might be a good idea to make Manatees glow in the dark. Would make them easier to see at night and thereby prevent them from being sliced and diced by boat motors.
Sure it might make them a little easier to see for alligators but really, I don’t think that Alligators even like day-glow manatees.
Maybe we could make celebrities Day-glow! Can we do a day-glow orange? I have always been partial to day glow orange myself.
Think of the human applications! You could make all murderers day-glow red and pedophiles day glow orange.
You know what? I’m starting to like this idea more and more.
Hey Taiwan, rock on with your bad self! Make sure that you try cross breeding pig with eagles (who doesn’t want to see a pig fly? Really…) and if you can do the same thing with a nice elephant (‘cuz I be done seen about everything, when I see an elephant fly…)
Zuckerman’s famous pig needs to step aside, we have the new other white, uh… I mean green meat!

And I think to myself… what a wonderful world.