Daddy's Girl

I spent a few minutes brushing my youngest daughter, Sierra's, hair last night and reading to her. I don't know why she insists on me brushing her hair. I'm horrible at it. I always pull it or get it tangled. But there she is, time and time again, brush in hand, thumb in mouth and a petulant expression on her face as she waits for me to ball up the courage to attack the hair.

So after a brief but spirited struggle that included not a few muffled grunts a couple of ow's and copious amounts of detangling spray she was almost ready for bed.

Story time.

Right in the middle of the sixth inning no less.

We are currently working our way through C.S. Lewis' The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, one chapter a night. We just started. So I halfheartedly toss the remote on the bed and grab her book following her obediently to her room. Once she is all tucked in, we pick up where we left off the night before. Mr. Tumnus has fed Lucy tea and toast and sardines.

Sardines?

Anyway, she is all of five years old and completely owns me. It dawns on me as she twirls my hair and sucks her thumb as I read. The ballgame is all but forgotten and I can’t really remember what it is exactly that I do for a living anymore.

How did that happen?

Somewhere between "it's a girl!" and Mr. Tumnus's tea party I imagine.

She is the only person in the world whose motives I have never had to question or have ever felt unsure of where I stand with her. I cannot tell you how incredibly comforting that is.

She loves me.

Unconditionally and without reservation.

My other children, Caleb who is seven and Alyssa, nine, love me too but not with such reckless disregard for everything else in the world. They are independent little creatures. They go about their afternoons doing homework or playing on the computer and occasionally stop by for a hug and a kiss. I fit into their schedules. Sierra is different. I am the schedule.

Want to watch cartoons? Sure, as long as I am the sofa.

Ready for dinner time? Sure, as long as I am sitting at the table.

Nothing strange at all about how she feels. It’s like that and that’s the way it is.

I love all my kids equally but I have to admit that Sierra has the ability to bend me.

Me, mister big strong silent type, referred to as Captain Testosterone by my brothers and cousins. Bossed around by a five year old little girl.

Part of me realizes with no small amount of sadness that one day she will grow out of it and get married and be okay without me and I dread that day.

But for now at least I am king for a day and she is my princess.

Can everything that's wrong with the world be taken away with a hug and a kiss? Probably not. But she sure takes the sting out of a bad day at work like nothing else can. It's a wonderful thing, the heart of a child.

Pure.

Real.

I wonder sometimes if people take refuge in the love their kids give them? Do they realize the power contained in tiny hugs and kisses?

They should.

I do.

Numb and Number

I don't know about the rest of you but I was absolutely floored by what Katrina did to the Gulf Coast. And this is coming from someone that had front row seats to an F4 tornado outbreak in Central Florida a few years back and last years Hurricane Jamboree. I was watching the various talking heads on lo, these many cable news channels and most of it was your basic schmutz. Some seemed moved by the unfolding tragedy; others were just getting in everyone’s way. Some looked as sad as they thought they should. Watching the shock of the scale of the disaster impact them individually was interesting enough though.

Sheppard Smith of the Fox News Channel, in particular, seemed the most profoundly affected. He got into some verbal sparring with Bill O’Reilly and did spots on most of the other news programs and he was visibly upset at what he perceived was a lack of effective effort on FEMA’s part. Listening to that mix of awe, horror, shock and sadness in his voice had me on the verge of tears I think. I thought, there was a guy who will never be the same. Geraldo Rivera seemed really indignant as he worked his way into the squalor that the evacuees were living with but I just didn't get that real sense of horror. To me (in my own humble opinion - and this in not a knock on Geraldo as much as it is on all of those investigative journalist types that thrive on this sort of drama) he appeared to be hamming it up for the cameras. I got the feeling that Geraldo was not about to be upstaged for emotion by Shep on his own network!

"Just look into this child’s face and tell me we are doing enough!"

Or something along those lines. Whatever. Hamming.

The rest of the networks schleppers were basically repeating themselves for hours and hours in end. Remaining detached in that inhuman way that reporters do when they are "just doing my job man!"

Reporting.

How can anyone stand in the middle of that and not be human?

How can you just reports the news and not feel a part of it.

Sheppard Smith wasn’t able to do it.

And he let everyone know it. He gave voice to what a lot of the residents of New Orleans were feeling. I don’t know about a vast government conspiracy to ignore the plight of thousands of poor families trapped in the floodwaters of Lake Ponchatrain but I doubt very much that There are so many problems with the way this disaster has been handled and I am sure that there are things that FEMA and other federal agencies charged with dealing with this situation could have and should have done better. But I get the feeling that those who are crying foul the loudest will discover that they dropped the ball too. You listening Nagin?

I know I had trouble just watching and not helping. I wanted to quit my job on the spot and move out there to hand out food and water. Darn those pesky kids of mine, with their constant wanting to be fed and other such nonsense. So I've decided to put together a few relief packages and donate them. It's not a lot, not by a long shot but at least it's something.

Sometimes it's the little things that make a world of a difference.

I was watching CSPAN coverage of George W’s visit to the region and I have to admit that he really does well with people one on one. Locals that were devastated by their losses would come up to him and just burst into tears.

It was heart breaking to see that.

That’s when you remember feeling loss in your life, those moments when you connect to the pain of another human being's pain. He didn't give them a smarmy politician smile or stiff handshake and a "America is behind you, you hang in there! Here let me take a picture with you in the front of the rubble" line of typical BS.

He hugged and held them. Kissed more than a few tears and was, contrary to popular belief, a caring human being. I was moved by his humanity. I also saw Sean Penn, waist deep in that toxic sludge inundating greater New Orleans searching for a friend. It was impressive to see him oblivious to the cameras instead of threatening them with a bat or something. Admittedly, I am probably more of a fan of the President's (though he is far from perfect) than I am of Sean Penn. But again I found myself moved by one person showing compassion and concern for another human being. Penn's presence was a little more impressive since he was they only Hollywood type that seemed to be more genuinely concerned with helping a friend than I would normally expect from the social elite that is La La Land.

Sorry, this isn’t the "I hate Hollywood" rant.

That's later in the week.

Way to go GWB and Penn for showing me that you are actually part of the human race after all.

Learn something new every day I guess.

For those of you that have never had the opportunity to witness a significant natural event first hand (earthquake, wild fires, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, etc) you really just can't grasp the enormity of what those poor folks on the Gulf Coast and in New Orleans are facing.

Even watching the footage of new helicopters skirting the Mississippi coast near Biloxi or the rescue helicopters plucking stranded residents from their flooded homes, you just can't wrap your mind around it unless you are or have at some point been there.

Standing in the middle of a natural disaster, surrounded by the sights and smell of it, there is just no way to really comprehend the forces needed to wreak havoc on a biblical scale.

There are still roofs in the Central Florida area that are waiting to be repaired.

New Orleans will be a long time in healing. As for me, I am double checking my storm supplies and working on how to help.

Hurricane season is far from over.