Rumbling and grumbling...

Well. I was ready to go home at 9 this morning. I was just in a nasty little funk all day long. Not to mention that my stomach is plotting some sort of coup de tat, judging by the ominous rumblings emanating from my intestinal region.
Nothing explosive yet but I fear that the peace won't hold for long.
My gastro intestinal tract never seems to be satisfied with whatever I am sending its way. I can hear the angry murmurs when ever I eat now. Could it be bacuase I am trying to eat a little more healthy these days?
Maybe.
I think I just need to find a new way to keep the natives in line. Where would my bowels be without me? Imagine. The nerve of some  internal organs. Just do your job and quit whining about it. You never really hear my ears complain and they are forced to endure all manner of evils. Like old country western music and sports radio talk show hosts that only know college football and nothing else.
But that is a whole other blog entirely.
Today we are discussing my entrails and their dissatisfaction with the staus quo. Dissention will not be tolerated. And neither will dysentery for that matter...
Because I have been forced to quell the growing unrest, I have not been able to mount an effective campaign against my growing mountain of tasks.
But it will have to wait.
The rumblings grow louder and the storm is quickly approaching. I go now to ascend my throne and release the vented frustration of my rebellious abdominals.


--
1-800-NOT-1337

iD10-T: Billy's Day Off

I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. I know I did. In fact I was having so much fun I neglected to get my comic completly done... So I posted a sketch.
 
Enjoy!

http://www.id10-t.com/current.htm
http://www.id10-t.com
--
1-800-NOT-1337

Too Stupid to be Jedi...

Ok. I had to read the article twice to be sure I read it right the first time.
I was.
I was going to go an paraphrase right about here but, well... to be honest, you're better off reading it for yourself. Suffice it to say it involves, two Star Wars geeks, lightsabers, cameras, flourescent light bulbs and some sort of liquid fuel.
Oh yeah, an explosion is mentioned along with the words, critically injured, maimed and severe burns.

Revenge of the Stiffs

You have no idea how sad I am that the link no longer works... If anyone finds that story, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, send me the link. You just can't make this stuff up.

iD10-T: The Bleeding Edge

New comic... nothing new to report really. I am really just excited to be getting these done on time. Enjoy the holiday weekend and I'll see you guys on Tuesday...

http:www.id10-t.com/current.htm
http://www.id10-t.com

--
1-800-NOT-1337

Apparently, the force was NOT with them...

I picked this bit up in my DigitalMediaWire Newsletter this morning...

FBI, Customs Agents Shut Down BitTorrent Server Offering "Star Wars"Washington -- U.S. authorities announced on Wednesday that they have shut down a BitTorrent file-sharing server that was offering copies of "Revenge of the Sith" and other copyrighted movies and software for download. The FBI and U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) executed ten warrants in eight states and seized the main server for Elite Torrents, a network with 133,000 members that offered 17,800 movie, music and software titles, which were collectively downloaded 2.1 million times. A message on the site today reads: "This site has been permanently shut down by the Federal Bureau of investigation and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement." The latest "Star Wars" film was available on Elite Torrents six hours before it debuted in theaters, and had been downloaded more than 10,000 times, authorities said. "Through today's landmark enforcement actions, ICE and the FBI have shut down a group of online criminals who were using legitimate technology to create one-stop shopping for the illegal sharing of movies, games, software and music," said Michael J. Garcia, Homeland Security assistant secretary for ICE.
http://www.fbi.gov/dojpressrel/pressrel05/bittorrent052505.htm
http://tinyurl.com/7lkfp
http://www.elitetorrents.org


Dude: "So what you're saying is, like, file sharing movies and music is totally wrong?"
FBI Agent:"Uh, yeah... in a nutshell..."
Dude:"C'mon Fibbie dude, sharing is so not wrong... Didn't your mom teach you to share?"
FBI: "Leave my mom out of this..."

Whoops...

Sorry about that... It seems I my FFS (Fat Finger Syndrome - causes horrible typos and is generally caused by doughnuts)  is worsening...

http://www.id10-t.com/current.htm



--
1-800-NOT-1337

iD10-T: So Over It Already...

Ok People...

I got caught up with some stuff this weekend so this is not the strip I was intending to post but I am trying to keep to a schedule here so I decided to post this one. I am trying to diversify the strip a little so I am going to try and cover a few more fun topics. Not everyone seems to be getting the I.T. humor so I am going to try and make the strip more so that people actually get the jokes. Don't worry though, I am still going to make the whole IT experiece the core of the comic but even techies have a lives outside of computers...

Enjoy!

http://www,id10-t.com/current.htm
http://www.id10-t.com

Billy

--
1-800-NOT-1337

Kids Today...

Sometimes I wonder about the state of kids and school and whether or not, as a parent, I am doing enough to encourage my kids to do well in school and try hard. Then I see something like this.
It's ana artcle about a remarkable young man that never gives up despite his physical limitations.

Read and be in spired.

Kyle's Story

(This was published but for some unknown reason, it refused to publish. I am trying it again.)

Yo Adrian!!!

Woo Hoo! It's on now bruddah! The very first tropical system of the season has formed in the Pacific. After last season, I'm not taking any chances. I will be watching with even more interest than I have in previous years. Hurricanes have always fascinated and awed me a little. They are incredible engines of change and forces of nature that can effect people on a biblical scale.
Oh Yeah.
That's right. I said BIBLICAL!
Like the Boyscouts motto...
Be Prepared.

Visit Adrian

--
1-800-NOT-1337

Knock Knock... Vader gram...

Have you ever wished for the ability to crush the life out of someone who is irritating you? Well... we all can't be Darth Vader but at least you can let someone know how much they really mean to you...

A Walk on the Darth Side...

I have been completely engrossed in Cheeseburger Brown's Darthside blog. If you have not had the pleasure you should take a moment or two to explore Vader's Journal. CB has written some very clever and compelling entries that really add depth to the infamous Dark Lord of the Sith.
You get very real sense of emotion. Who knew Darth Vader had emotions? It is at the same time sad and funny. Good stuff. Makes me want to do some more creative writing and post here. As it stands now, all I have is my very Darthside inspired iD10-T episode entitled "Imperial Tech Support".

I think I am going to have Darth do a few more. I liked the way this on turned out. Anyway, your home work assignment is to visit Darthside and take a peep at iD10-T.
And vote for it please.
It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside when you do that...

Vote For the iD10-T !!!!

Well, I don't exactly know what iD10-T is in the running for but you should vote anyway, because you never know. It could be important. Since I am desperately trying to escape my day job I have decided to create a web comic that, at least in theory, make me just enough money to keep my kids in Corn Flakes and applesauce through college....

So vote.... Where? The cute blue banners on the right. There are two of them. You should click on them.
Frequently.

What? Oh. You want to see the comic? Ok. Take a look over to your right again. See the pretty links to iD10-T? Go there and ye shall be rewarded with pretty pictures and funny words...

Wanted, DREAD or Alive

Sometimes, it's cool to see some of the "toys" the US military plays with and just marvel at the techological acheivment of faster that sound flight or Nighttime Carrier landings or something that we take for granted in the civilian sector that was birthed in military research programs, Like Cell phones and GPS.
And then there is the stuff straight out of a science fiction movie...

CHECK IT OUT

Things to keep you busy in the middle of a hurricane

Some folks were scared, clinging to each other in closets and bathrooms. Terrified that the room might fall in on their heads. Most of us in the Sunshine State (Ha! Not so sunny after last year...) endured days without electricity and water by just trying to stay cool and not go mad with cabin fever.
Some folks, however, had better ideas of how to spend the time...

Hurricane Baby Boom

Got Hurricanes?

Yeah buddy.
Looks like things in the tropics will be business as usual this coming year. Scientists are tripping all over each other trying to predict the coming Hurricane season. All I know is that it will be very interesting.
Just like last year.
I took a few pics of the local damage. You can find them in my original blog here. They are all the way down on the bottom of the page. I will probably post some of that content here in the near future. Especially as we draw nearer to the start of the season.

Here is the MSNBC article.

The National Hurricane Center Website (Always good to know...)

The 2005 Hurricane Season Outlook

This is a test...

This is a test of the emergency email blogger system. This is only a
test. If this had been an actual blog it would have been filled with
witty commentary and perhaps even a comic. At the very least it would
have had a link to some new and interesting things on the internet.

But since this is only a test you can ignore it.

--
1-800-NOT-1337

iD10-T: Idiot Unplugged

So here I am, sending out the link to my latest webisode of iD10-T when I notice something. A typo. How irritating.
For the record, I am a notoriously bad speller. Well, maybe that's an exaggeration but I do have the propensity to misspell a word or two every time I write something.
I've have spelling errors in poetry...
Well, maybe those shouldn't count because poetry is really subjective and artsy. I can (and do) invent interesting new words for my poetry.
Anyway. Going off on a tangent. Sheesh. I really need to focus.
Take a peek if you are bored. If you are buried underneath a mountain of work, take a moment to relax and read my comic. You know its going to be the only thing you enjoy today...

iD10-T: "Idiot Unplugged"

The Man School Part One: The Wingman

Note to the reader:
You must have the “Y” chromosome to read this article. If you have any or all of the following I am going to have to ask you to leave:

Lipstick
Eyeshadow
Big Hoop earrings
Fake fingernails
Breasts (Silicone or otherwise)
A purse
Feminine Hygiene Products
Pantyhose
Own a Pomeranian, poodle or ah... ahh... aahhhh... SHITZU! (gesundheit)
Frequent Shopper Points (Unless they are from Sears or Bestbuy)
You watch Lifetime, The Oxygen Network, The Romance Channel or Oprah
Own any Season of Sex In The City on DVD

Pack up your Diet whatever and your froo froo salad and tell your story walkin…
(If you happen to be a Metrosexual and you are carrying a murse, tweezers and or lotion you might as well leave too. I can’t help you until you first help yourself. Go drink a beer, refrain from shaving or tweezing for three days and eat a big fat steak...)

Ok. Have we cleared the room now?
Wait. You Sir, with the raspberry lotion and tweezers.
Out.
Come back when you can sit still for a minute without plucking at your eyebrows.
Ok.
Let’s get started.
For the record, I am male, Latino and macho. I got the whole machismo Latino thing down pat. It’s sort of a genetic thing. Don’t believe me? Ask any of the thousands of women who adore me. Of course they don’t ever say anything out of respect for the gold ring on my left hand but I know what’s going behind those beady little eyes.
They think I am so totally hot.
My wife thinks I’m hot.
What’s so funny?
Stop laughing.
Really.
Okay, now you’re pissing me off. Cut that out. I am sexy, ask my wife.
Ok. We can get a completely unbiased opinion then.
We can just ask my Mom. She thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking, so does your mom right? Well the difference between your mom and mine is that mine is right.
So there. Ha.
Why am I here?
Good question. You aren’t as dumb as you look. I am here to ‘splain what it is to be both male and macho.
No.

I said no.

They are not the same damn thing. Disagree?
Okay Mister Knowitall, perhaps you can tell me if Richard Simmons (or Little Richard for that matter...) is macho?
Aha!
See, I told you so.
He is, technically, a human male but I’ll be damned if he is macho. Same thing goes for Kevin Spacey. Sure, he’s a brilliant actor, I love the guy, really. But if I’m in a fight and I gotta pick one hollywood guy to back me up I got two words for ya.
Clint Eastwood.
Okay, two more.
Russell Crowe.
This brings us to Part One:

The Right Wingman (or, I gotcha back homie...)

Every real man knows that it is vital to have someone that you can trust in a pinch. A confidant, true Bud, partner in crime. Goose to Maverick, Tubbs to Crockett, Beer to Nuts.
Now do you understand?
No.
You only think you do.
He's got to be able to watch your back. You have to know that he's not going to bail ata critical moment. He's got to be a little crazy too. An action hero you say? Sure, why not. But not all of them qualify.
Sorry. No.
Emilio Estevez doesn’t count.
I liked Young Guns and all too but you gotta remember Men at Work. Enough said. Let me expand on the criteria a bit so that we are all on the same page.
What?
Okay, I’ll give you Antonio Banderas. A little on the pretty boy side but he qualifies. At least he's a chick magnet.
What’s that you say?
Nope, no Jackie Chan.
Ditto for Jet Li.
Why?
Do I have to explain everything?
Okay, lemme break it down for you. They are macho, sure. The problem is that if its you and Jackie (or Jet) versus fifty nifty Nazi Ninjas from New Jersey, Jackie is gonna light their ass up all by his lonesome. And what does that make you?
His beyotch, a sidekick or worse...
Comic relief.
He saves your ass and you end up looking like Chris Tucker in drag. Remember The Fifth Element? Right, Bruce Willis was Dallas, Corbin Dallas and here is my multipass thank you very much.
Chris Tucker?
Ruby Red. Hiding under a pool table in a crush velvet body suit hitting high notes Mariah Carrey only wishes she could hit. If Chris Tucker keeps from squealing he can be macho. He just stands a better chance than some sidekicks. I thought he made a nice improvement in Rush Hour 2 but he still has a way to go.
Comedic superstar?
Absolutely.
Macho?
Gotta vote him off the island on that one. Sorry Chris, you still my boy though. I think you have enough info to get started on selecting your wingman. It is a very important decision that should not be made lightly or while intoxicated.

That's all for now. Start selecting candidates for who you want to get your back in a fight. That's your homework. Well, that and eat something that has no nutritional value and watch one of the following films:
The Hunt For Red October
Raiders Of The Lost Ark
Rocky
The Godfather
or The Dirty Dozen

There will be a quiz...

That is all. Carry on.

The "In Crowd"...

Another blog from the mothership

I am officially part of the IN CROWD. Oh yeah. Absolutely. Crazy you say? Talk to the hand. I know that I know that I know...
I have proof.
You know how you know you're part of the "In" crowd? You really want to know. I shouldn't tell you. Really. If you were part of the "In Crowd" you would already know wouldn't you? But I am in a good mood today. I only watched the first half of Hotel Rwanda. You know, when it still looked like the UN was going to do something useful like save lives. I already know the ending so if you felt like emailing me to tell me the ending of the movie, HA! Nice try.That being said, if I had watched the rest of it, you would be completely out of luck. I would have been angry and sad and outraged and....
Where was I?
Oh yeah. The "In Crowd".
You want me to spill the juice? Tell the tale? Get all loosed lipped and sink a ship?
<> Heh heh heh
See? Told you I was in.
Ok ok.. stop whining. I'll tell you.
You know that you are definitely part of the "In Crowd" when...
Drum roll please!!!

When you get invited.
That's right.
Invited...

And for the record I'm not talking about social gatherings that include any of the following:

• Diapers


• Children under the age of 30


• Clowns (yeah, they freak me out a little too...)


• Cake with red, green or any other rainbow colored rosting


• Cone shaped party hats


• Pinatas (Don't even get me started on Pinatas...)


• Charred poultry or bovine appendages

Um... did I forget anything?
Wait.
Yeah.
The electric slide.
My skin crawls every time I hear " you can feel it it's electric! Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie..."
That needs to be banned.
Immediately.
If it isn't already. I think it might already be. Probably under the same treaty that took care of disco and the jerri curl. Did I spell that right? Jerri Curl... Jherri Curl? Whatever, you know what I mean. All together now..."Just let your sould glow, let it shine..."
And the ban needs to be enforced by the United States Marine Corps.
Crap!! That song is now stuck un my head... (not the soul glow theme song... the electric slide)

Ok. Tangent. Got off on a tangent. Where were we?
Right, the "In Crowd".
I got invited. To join a very secret and secluded group. That's right pleabians, I GOT GMAIL YO!!!!
GMAIL... GMAIL... GMAIL...

So what you say? You're just jealous. Admit it. You know its cool. How cool? Ice cold! If it wasn't so cool everyone would have it. You need to get a special invitation. Someone has to think that you are worthy of having 2 gigabytes of free email storage on the internet.
And that my friends... oh yeah...

THAT is what makes you special.
I just like saying it...
GMAIL....
(pronounced: Gee Mail, not gamail...)
Ok. So it's probably not the In Crowd. But we know who you are and we are keeping you out of GMAIL... Now it's cool to be a geek or nerd or well... I was going to say dweeb but it still not okay to be a dweeb.
Sorry. We'll let you know when its ok.

So basically that's it. I have GMail and that makes me just plain Uber Baby... If you want in an need an invite, drop me a note.

I'll see what I can do.

Love Thy Neighbor...

This blog was originally posted on my site.

Is it me or did it suddenly become very dangerous to ge a pre-teen girl in the USA? In the last few months I feel as though I've been bombarded with news stories of young girls that are abducted and subsequently murdered. It's gotten to the point that everytime I happen to see a picture of a young girl on the news I suddenly assume the worst and feel like somone dropped a cold hunk of lead into my stomach.

I don't remember this sort of thing as being common place when I was growing up but that could be because the media never bothered to sensationalize the crime. So why the sudden interest? I get the feeling that it more of a ratings driven phenomenon than genuine concern for the safety of the children.

Cynical? Maybe. But then you explain to me the need to disclose Jessica Lundsford's police report and the details of how she was murdered? I can't really think of any good reason. The publics right to know? I certainly didn't want to know. It's bad enough that this sort of thing is happening out there. I spend most of my waking days worried about the world my kids are growing up in. I really don't need the nightmares of what actually happens to the kids that are assaulted.

I have made it my business to know where my kids are and who they are with at all times. I hope that God grants me the strength I will need to keep the vigil as they approach their teens. For anyone out there thats a parent, good luck.
Take the time to know.
Be aware.
It's a dark world out there sometimes and you don't want to find out the hard way.

I'll be keeping an eye out.

Who let this id10-t in?

Ok. So I have been working on a webcomic for the last few weeks and I want to share. I have been previewing it to a bunch of friends and family and they all love it...
and it has nothing to do with the fact that I am their friend and or family member.
Really.
I'm serious.
My Mom likes them.
And my Mom knows stuff.


Right. Anyway, here is a small sample of the kind of artwork (and I use the term "Artwork" in this instance in the loosest possible definition of the word...)
Click it to see the larger version. Feel free to download the Desktop. Drop me a line via my contact page if you do. Don't worrky, I won't hit you up for spare change. I just want to say thanks for spreadin the love...


See? I told you my Mom was right

All Blogged up and nowhere to go...

I was wonder what I was going to put here in this blog but since it took forever just to come up with a name for this thing...
(ALL of the really cool names I had picked out were already taken... Can you believe it?)
Anyway, by the time I finally got all of this here stuffage properly stored in airtight containers so as to preserve the freshness I realized that I was all tapped out.
So instead I am going to paste a little introduction to me that I have so gleefully lifted from my own website. Read it... I am sure that you will be captivated by my extraordinary life story. It does reference some photos and they can be found here.
Ok. Enough mindless drivel. I'll tell my story walkin...

Hello there...

My name is Billy Martinez.

I create.

I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and I am left handed. That’s pretty much everything worth knowing at this point.

Ok, there is a lot more but most of it is pretty run of the mill. I may not have ever been an Astronaut, but I played one in a movie. It was an independent film and it was a freebie but so what? I had fun.

The Director said he was glad to work with a professional. Which in retrospect was odd since I wasn't paid for the role.

I suppose that I could have just posted my resume but that’s not the whole story. There is always more to people than their experience and this site will hopefully go along way to shedding some light on me. Like that time I never wanted to be a male model.

I never met Zoolander but I have been told that I got that Magnum thing down pat. Maybe it's the intense glare, the coal black dark eyes. Wait. That was Jaws. Never mind.

Take a few moment to explore the site and browse the work pages. As time goes by I plan on adding all of my created works. Digital art, web designs, Illustrator artwork, poetry and Photos that I have taken in my spare time. This site is all about my creative side. The free roaming spirit within that needs to express itself in color.

I am a bit of a sports nut. I have been told that I have a great looking Golf swing. Maybe I will test it out on an actual course one day, as opposed to wacking the ball retrieval cart at the local driving range.

I admit it. I am not ashamed of my love for Sportcenter. I get some time in watching the Discovery and the History Channel too. A well balanced television diet is very important to the creative process. That and Stargate SG-1. Serious eye candy for the digital artist.

I have a serious business side, over 6 years of management experience in a variety of fields; but if you are looking for that aspect of my life you’ll need to see the resume. A quick email requesting one and I can take care of that. I wont take anymore of your time than absolutely necessary. Enjoy the exhibit. Feel free to drop me a note with any questions or comments you have.

Thank You


See? That wasn't so painful, was it?

Ok. I am going to bed. I gotta get up early. Some of us have jobs...

That is all. Carry on.