Objective Compulsive

Objectivity in the Media?
I suppose you believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and well I could go on forever...
Yeah.
No such thing.
Jim Caple is a moderately talented writer that sometimes amuses me much the same way that Senator Ted Kennedy does when he shows up to the Senate floor turnip faced, looking very constipated and drunk as a skunk bleating about how much he hates the President.
But at least he doesn't try to hide his jealousy with false neutrality.
And yes. He is jealous of old Dubya. Why you ask? Oh man, its so easy once you think about it. The honorable Senator Kennedy is jealous because in his estimation, how in the blue hell could a "simple minded" village idiot possibly become the most powerful person on the face of the earth!?!
Not once, but twice!
And to make matters worse, ol' Teddy bear couldn't even get his own party to support him.
But I digress.
We are here to discuss one Jim Caple.
The Michale Moore of ESPN.
"Of course it a documentary! I am very objective."
"No. You are not objective."
"Yes I am. By the way, did you see the video of Derek Jeter sacrificing babies to Baal while while peeing in the corn flakes of orphans on Christmas day? I told you he was the antichrist."
"Yeah, but that wasn't Jeter... that looked like Ben Affleck..."
"DAMN YOU! It was Jeter!"
Jimmy baby, stop lying.
Do not deny it.
We don't believe you.
Little Jimmy wants you to believe that he is an upstanding servant of the truth. A journalist of the highest order.
A reporter of impeccable integrity.
You are soooo not.
And to make matters worse he is not as good as Bill Simmons.
But he doesn't patronize the crowd by trying to hide the fact that he hates the Yankees. (Ok... that was a pardoy of some thing that Little Jimmy would right but when I first saw it I though, holy crap! He finally came clean!)
Little Jimmy has envy issues me thinks. (And so does ESPN... check out the side bar half way down the page)
Oh yes.
It's sad and more than a little disturbing.
He dreams about not just beating the Yankees, but of raising the dead and having Yastremski pooping out a "Diamond enctrusted cure for cancer".
Ok. That's just disturbing.
You know, New Yorkers are arrogant and a little high and mighty when it comes to feeling superior in the world of baseball. The Bronx Bombers have perhaps spoiled us.
I am perfectly capable of admitting that.
And yes, I was crushed by the Yankees folding like a paper bag in the 2004 playoffs. What true Yankee fan wasn't devestated by the loss? But we are ok. We know that it isn't over. We are going to eventually win another championship.
We don't hate Boston fans per say.
Really.
I don't even feel sorry for them anymore. They have the '04 Sox and the Patriots to keep them all warm and fuzzy.
To be perfectly honest, most Yankee fans don't waste their time thinking about The Sox or Sox fans.
We won't, for instance, start chanting "Red Sox sucks" at ANY World Championship Celebratory rally.
What? Why?
Go back to the footage of the Patriot first Super Bowl victory ticker tape parade. You will hear the crowd chanting "Yankees Suck!"
Sad but true.
And so we are left with little Jimmy.
He is entitled to be venomous in his hatred of the Yankees and call us the evil empire...
Yada, yada, yada.
Just dont tell me you are an objective journalist. Thats like Fox News saying they are not right leaning or CNN, NBC, CBS or pretty much everyone else saying they are not left leaning.
We know better.
Just let it go man. Hatred that bad shrinks your nads. It makes you miss out on the cooler things in life. And we both know you have the hots for A-Rod. Why else are you so fixated on him? You know, there are a lot of Boston Fans that have the hots for him. I get that whole Brokeback Mountain vibe whenever I hear a Boston Fan grumble about Gay Rod or whatever clever new iron on tee shirt they are sporting these days.
My personal favorite was the Jeter gave ARod AIDS tee shirt. Nothing like making fun of the medical scourge of the last 25 years to show how much you hate another sports team.
Right on.
Anyway, I was going to write a blog on my theory about the Red Sox, White Sox and the Cubs and the coming apocalypse but after reading yet another virulent, whiny, pathetic and downright sad diatribes railing against the Evil Empire and Darth Steinbrenner I have decided that I might just be stooping to Caple's level.
Here is a box of Kleenex.
Get over it.
And write something new for a change.
It's ok...
Change is good.