Alice!?! Who the *$%@ is Alice!?!

Behold the beauty that is the company Christmas, um, er Holiday (sorry, I forget the whole PC thing on occasion- God forbid we say Christmas at a politically unfortunate moment…)anyway, I love the year end bash of drunken debauchery that is the company Christmas party. Where else can rich and poor, mailroom clerk and executive, manager and employee, Yankee fan and Red Sox Fan alike get completely hammered and end up dancing cheek to cheek while the house band plays “Lady in Red” screaming over the din “You know….I love you man…”
“I love you too”
Happy happy, joy, joy.
You know, upon reflection, the house band was pretty good, right up until they played the electric slide.
You can feel it!
It’s electric! Boogie woogie, woogie, woogie.
I don’t know why they would dig that old corpse of a song up, except of course to help the sobriety challenged individuals do something other than flop all over the floor while various cameras are snapping photos of the festivities for posterity (and for possible blackmail)
“Well sir, I think I am worth another twenty five thousand a year and I have the pictures to prove it!”
“Well, um, Johnson. Perhaps I was a bit hasty in my decision. I’m sure we can come to an understanding. You’re sure that these are the only copies?”
What I really wanted to know was who started the conga line and why was there more than one? Isn’t there some European Union Committee that set the rules down for what constitutes a, a conga line and b, how many conga lines are allowed to run concurrently?
No?
There ought to be.
As the company sponsored event started to wind down, those who were not yet done with the glorious yuletide celebration, decided that a trip to a local pub was in order. The recruitment process was begun in earnest.
“Are you going?”
“I guess so. Are you going?”
“Guess so. Are you going?”
“I guess so. Are you going?”
“Probably. Are you going?”
Once it’s been decided that everyone is going and that the bar, thank gawd, is still open and serving liquor, the train to partyville loads up and pull out of the station.
With Panache.
“Hell yeah I’m going! And we’re going to Conga all the way there and the line starts here! WOO HOO!”
“Yeah, we’re following him!”
“I’m not following him! We’ll end up in the pond.”
“You pansy! Into the lagoon! All you beyotchez…..”
Well. Now that all the non-hackers, lightweights and teetotalers washed out, the real fun began. Apparently, normal sized drinks are not enough to contain the holiday spirit. For good times this big you need something with a little more, uh, umph.
Enter the Hurricane.
Now Hurricanes are really, really good drinks, for those of you consenting adults that are so inclined. But we managed to get our hands on the mother of them all. What would you get if you mixed the following items in industrial quantities:

(Kids, don't try this at home...)
Vodka
Grenadine
Light Rum
Bacardi 151 (because just one type of Rum isn’t enough!)
Amaretto
Triple Sec
Grapefruit Juice (for the calorie conscious)
Orange Juice

Sounds like a ton of fun huh? Well, when imbibed in human portions, the Hurricane is a brilliant smorgasbord of flavor and a really charming drink to enjoy, great for preschool parties, funerals and small church functions.
You should try it.
On the other hand, if you think that bathing in several different varieties of top shelf liquor is a more efficient - and just plain fun - method of delivering the sweet bliss of intoxication (and if you are not especially concerned with actually surviving the evening), if you have ever wanted to get brain freeze and insanely buzzed with a single mouthful of cool drink, if you ever wanted to sing along with dueling, yes I said dueling, pianos and scream out at the top of your lungs, singing off key to many ancient and revered bar songs like the Piano Man and Alice (Alice!?! Who the f@#$ is Alice!?!), if you ever wanted to feel like a Smurf, Snork, Little or Hobbit in a bar and don’t have any glasses that fit to the three apples high scale, and you really, really, really want a hangover so bad that you need FEMA (god help you) to come in and airlift you to the closest hospital while pushing IV fluids STAT!, go the other route and well, experience the natural disaster served up in a nice tall (and I do mean tall) glass.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Super Hurricane.
You know what the strangest thing about the whole evening was?
Everyone got home ok.
Crazy huh?
Merry, happy Ramahanukwanzmas.

For the record, (and to give you a sense of scale)the guy holding the Super Cane is over 6'2" and damn close to 300 lbs. He's a big boy and that drink he's holding there? It's a big drink.